New book: Cecilia

Posted: July 8, 2013 in Questions & answers

SILLY

A quote from my new book…

“Real men do not like running around after silly little girls… So if you are behaving like one u know what to expect…” (Txetxu to Cecilia)

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright for text Marta Dunphy-Moriel

July 2013

 FLAT RULES

All the following undesirable persons are prohibited from entry to this domicile by order of the flat committee;

Bosses, Free riders, Wingers , Hobgoblins & Huns,Pests,Thieving swine,Trolls, Lying Toads,Tell-tale-tits,Sloths, Mr./Ms.McClean,Peeping Toms, Busy bodies, Hogs, Perves,Egocentrics and Goody-goodies!!!!


ImageConsult list for further information.

1. Bosses, do nout but spout.Always certain they do more than their fair share, always ready with new orders!

2. Free riders, always have millions of excuses for not paying up!

3. Wingers, winging complainers and critics,full of complaints and criticism about their health, doctors, lawyers,parents, spouses, children, clients and other people in general. But don’t you dare criticise them, they are perfect!

4.Hobgoblins, bullies.manipulators and control freaks! Dangerous people, avoid at all cost!.

5.Huns; invaders who leave mayhem and destruction in their wake.

 

6.Pests.time wasters who jangle your nerves!

7. Thieving swine, “borrowers” who use your things and never give them back!

8. Trolls;Grubby, mucky monsters who dump their junk and dirty cups, plates, dog shit and whatever all over the flat and also are disgustingly unkempt inflicting their unsightly, dirty appearance on everyone, generally lowering the tone of the place!

 

9.Lying Toads.  chronic liars and fibbers!

 

10. Tell-tale-tits: run around repeating harmful crap, true or false to all and sundry.

11. Sloths, famous for their miserable, shabby efforts in everything they do!

 

12. Mr./Ms McClean, paranoiacally clean and tidy!

13. Peeping Toms, spies,who walk into your room without knocking, read 
your messages,etc.etc,ie. generally invade your privacy!

14. Busy Bodies;  politically correct do gooders, who organise your life, tell you what you ought to do, think and say and give uninvited opinions on personal matters.

15.Hogs; persons who spend too much time in the bathroom and kitchen, use all the hot water, don’t share the sofa and hog the TV.

16.Perves; people who inflict their sexuality on everyone around them and make loud strange noises in the night.

!7. Egocentrics; look at me, look at me, look at mes. Constantly demanding attention and praise and woe betide you if they aren’t getting it!!!!

18.Goody, Goodies; disgustingly perfect but no fun! Always smiling,(Always, not human), do everything perfect, never winge, criticize, complain or shout. A bomb waiting to explode at any moment…It is not healthy not to react when other people around you are uncouth and, unless they let off some steam, this specimen can explode when you least expect it!

Oh well…

Posted: June 6, 2012 in Random Thoughts

Seriously… feelings… Drat, drat, double drat… I think I understand Sheldon Cooper (From the Big Bang Theory).

This feeling roller coaster cannot be healthy… swinging from Love to rage all in one day…

I just needed to complain dear reader… again… I hope you are as stable as a pillar for this sort of thing.

x

INTRODUCTION

When I moved to this great country I only knew what I had seen in films. And while it is true that cities are rather endless housing estates with a blob of glass skyscrapers in the middle, that schools are all the same and the concept of going for a walk is going to the mall, it’s not exactly like I imagine it.

When I lived in my native Spain, I would have thought of coming to such a place. But honestly, considering that these people like a “support group” and a “problem” quite a bit, I decided to put my prejudices aside  and enroll the group in my local community center.

Of course, both my boss and my husband insisted upon it.

So, when the first day came, I asked a man with a serious weight problem where it took place and he said in an intelligible accent that it was  the “second door on the right”. Well, actually what I understood was “‘it’s gonna be alright” but of course, between his accent and my lack of comprehension the confusion was more than justified.

Then, I walked down the perfect corridor and came to door number 12. And there it was, the posted that left me frankly surprised:

“The drama queen club.

Please come in. ”

I stared at it, puzzled. What was the meaning of THIS? Drama queen? Who, me? Sure… What kind of sick joke was that? DRAMA QUEEN? ME? A DRA-MA QUEEN…

And I realized I was running around like a loony up and down the corridor and getting more and more hysterical every time I reread the sign. And I was craving a cigarette like mad… (Note: when we moved I swore to my husband that I would quit smoking. And I did. But the truth is that when things get out of hand I become a nicotine addict monster by some sort of grotesque metamorphosis.)

Then I realized what was going on. I was walking in circles. And I was in a very bad mood for no apparent reason. It was all nonsense. Definitely, a drama queen. Resisting my temptation to go out and smoke a cigarette, I grabbed the doorknob, took a deep breath, and muttered “I’m a hysterical drama queen.” and I went in.

“Never mind I’ll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you. Sometimes in life and love it last but sometimes it hurts instead…”(Adele)

This song always makes me cry,  you know… I think it’s because I really don’t know what it means.

I mean, yes, of course, I know what it means, but I don’t know what IT means. For some bizare reason I’ve never regreted when I’ve lost or left love, probably because I’ve always believed that it was meant to be . If it didn’t work it wasn’t supposed work out …

But now, at this very moment when I am on the edge of closing yet another door I keep wondering… how do you know if something is meant to be or not?

I really don’t know.

I’ve always been a bit of a romantic (not a foolish, unrealist romantic, I might add)… but I think I’ve never really been in love. And it makes me quite sad to think about it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved, a great deal, in fact, but at some point I’ve always been so disapointed with the guy next to me I’ve just said… “Look… this is just not going to work out.”

Am I a defeatist? I don’t know. But it is sad.  I’ve always thought love was simple and straight forward. And it’s not a question of there being fights or no fights (strangely enough I haven’t had many of those) it’s just either the feeling the other person is just not that interested or that you are not as interested as he is. And it is sad. Very sad. Because I just keep wondering if it’s always going to be this way.

I don’t know. But I do care.

Dear reader, does this ever happen to you? Do you feel like you just don’t find someone who is your perfect fit and you’re their perfect fit?

Oh well, faint heart never won anything I suppose. But it’s just that one thing that’s missing… and it’s not because of social upbringing, or any other rubbish like that… It’s just the feeling that the only thing I’ve always ever wanted seems to be in a distant horizon and no matter how much I walk it never seems to get any closer.

For some reason (probably my romantic side vs common sense) I’ve always thought that love is like cereal. Or toast. It’s something you love having every day. It’s not something you’ll throw a party for every day but you really do miss it when you can’t have it. (Not like creme brulee, for example, which is wonderfull and you will be overjoyed to have it  but if you eat it for three days straight you will be sick of it…)

Again, I don’t know. I suppose patience is in order.

But while we are sitting here waiting, dear reader, please do tell me… does this happen to you to?

Teenage girls

Posted: April 14, 2012 in Questions & answers

Hello gorgeous girl!

Bad news for all the teenage girls out there… sorry but once you are in your twenties it does not get any better… it gets worse because you take things a little bit more seriously than before and it is just one blooming head ache after another… I blame estrogen!!!

Of course you know what I’m talking about… love! An abstract concept that has been inserted into our heads thanks to Disney and romance novels. And I don’t mean to say that love does not exist… of course it does! But it’s not exactly how they pictured it…

Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is if you though your head ache about guys would be over by the time you left your teens behind think again. It gets even harder because before there was a clear difference between guys that wanted a relationship and guys that just wanted to pox around. Now they all get muddled up, switch roles, they can’t decide… and there you are trying to find out what on earth he’s going on about while he’s trying to figure it out himself… and we’re the complicated sex!

And believe me friends do NOT help when this issue arises… in fact they can literally drive you bonkers… if they notice you think he’s just poxing around they try to convince you that he may be serious but he just needs time… and if you are convinced he’s serious but you are not 10000% sure about what you have they will try to brain wash you to dump him because he’s obviously using you and you can do so much better!!!

A word of warning… do not be depressed by these words! au contraire… may it be a comfort to you that there other people out there with the same issue. There are many girls who when faced with this problem become part of the “all men are bastards” club. I honestly believe they’re not… they just have a different way of looking at things which is so darn simple that your hi-tech brain cannot make any sense out of it.

Anyway, thanks for reading! I hope this little post gives you some comfort. And don’t worry… everything sorts itself out in the end ! Even though I must admit that moaning about it doesn’t solve anything,  it does at least let you get it out of your system and allow you to see its such not as a big deal as you thought it was ;-)))

Different

Posted: February 4, 2012 in Questions & answers

Everyone at some point has felt different. It’s only natural, after all.

The media keeps bombarding us half the time with the idea that we have to follow a stereotype, a “role” in the world and the other part of the time that we have to be extraordinary. It gets confusing because, let’s face it, most of us will never be neither president of a country, super models or saints. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Life isn’t about great speeches, impossible love affairs or acts of inhuman heroism. Of course there are many people who   extraordinary things, in fact, most people do or live extraordinary things at some point in their life but usually it isn’t in slow motion and it definitely doesn’t have a soundtrack (though I must admit the idea is quite amusing).

The thing is, contrary to what media tells us, it’s not about winning, it’s about being happy. A lot of people are not happy because they think that their life, their experiences, everything is just not good enough. But life is not a film or a book… it’s so much better.

So, this is a message for anyone out there who feels different to the rest of the world! If you’re happy being an executive, work like mad to become one. If you’re happy being a waitress, what’s the point in insisting upon getting three degrees and two masters if you just like working in a snug cafe?

What’s wrong about being different?

Winning is about getting the result you want, is being how and makes you happy and… you know what ? If you do something that makes you happy you’ll probably turn out to be a lot better at it in the long run than if you were doing something else.

So smile, enjoy the ride and over all don’t worry about being different because that’s what makes you beautifully unique in this mad as a hatter world.