Archive for the ‘Questions & answers’ Category

New book: Cecilia

Posted: July 8, 2013 in Questions & answers

SILLY

A quote from my new book…

“Real men do not like running around after silly little girls… So if you are behaving like one u know what to expect…” (Txetxu to Cecilia)

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright for text Marta Dunphy-Moriel

July 2013

 FLAT RULES

All the following undesirable persons are prohibited from entry to this domicile by order of the flat committee;

Bosses, Free riders, Wingers , Hobgoblins & Huns,Pests,Thieving swine,Trolls, Lying Toads,Tell-tale-tits,Sloths, Mr./Ms.McClean,Peeping Toms, Busy bodies, Hogs, Perves,Egocentrics and Goody-goodies!!!!


ImageConsult list for further information.

1. Bosses, do nout but spout.Always certain they do more than their fair share, always ready with new orders!

2. Free riders, always have millions of excuses for not paying up!

3. Wingers, winging complainers and critics,full of complaints and criticism about their health, doctors, lawyers,parents, spouses, children, clients and other people in general. But don’t you dare criticise them, they are perfect!

4.Hobgoblins, bullies.manipulators and control freaks! Dangerous people, avoid at all cost!.

5.Huns; invaders who leave mayhem and destruction in their wake.

 

6.Pests.time wasters who jangle your nerves!

7. Thieving swine, “borrowers” who use your things and never give them back!

8. Trolls;Grubby, mucky monsters who dump their junk and dirty cups, plates, dog shit and whatever all over the flat and also are disgustingly unkempt inflicting their unsightly, dirty appearance on everyone, generally lowering the tone of the place!

 

9.Lying Toads.  chronic liars and fibbers!

 

10. Tell-tale-tits: run around repeating harmful crap, true or false to all and sundry.

11. Sloths, famous for their miserable, shabby efforts in everything they do!

 

12. Mr./Ms McClean, paranoiacally clean and tidy!

13. Peeping Toms, spies,who walk into your room without knocking, read 
your messages,etc.etc,ie. generally invade your privacy!

14. Busy Bodies;  politically correct do gooders, who organise your life, tell you what you ought to do, think and say and give uninvited opinions on personal matters.

15.Hogs; persons who spend too much time in the bathroom and kitchen, use all the hot water, don’t share the sofa and hog the TV.

16.Perves; people who inflict their sexuality on everyone around them and make loud strange noises in the night.

!7. Egocentrics; look at me, look at me, look at mes. Constantly demanding attention and praise and woe betide you if they aren’t getting it!!!!

18.Goody, Goodies; disgustingly perfect but no fun! Always smiling,(Always, not human), do everything perfect, never winge, criticize, complain or shout. A bomb waiting to explode at any moment…It is not healthy not to react when other people around you are uncouth and, unless they let off some steam, this specimen can explode when you least expect it!

INTRODUCTION

When I moved to this great country I only knew what I had seen in films. And while it is true that cities are rather endless housing estates with a blob of glass skyscrapers in the middle, that schools are all the same and the concept of going for a walk is going to the mall, it’s not exactly like I imagine it.

When I lived in my native Spain, I would have thought of coming to such a place. But honestly, considering that these people like a “support group” and a “problem” quite a bit, I decided to put my prejudices aside  and enroll the group in my local community center.

Of course, both my boss and my husband insisted upon it.

So, when the first day came, I asked a man with a serious weight problem where it took place and he said in an intelligible accent that it was  the “second door on the right”. Well, actually what I understood was “‘it’s gonna be alright” but of course, between his accent and my lack of comprehension the confusion was more than justified.

Then, I walked down the perfect corridor and came to door number 12. And there it was, the posted that left me frankly surprised:

“The drama queen club.

Please come in. ”

I stared at it, puzzled. What was the meaning of THIS? Drama queen? Who, me? Sure… What kind of sick joke was that? DRAMA QUEEN? ME? A DRA-MA QUEEN…

And I realized I was running around like a loony up and down the corridor and getting more and more hysterical every time I reread the sign. And I was craving a cigarette like mad… (Note: when we moved I swore to my husband that I would quit smoking. And I did. But the truth is that when things get out of hand I become a nicotine addict monster by some sort of grotesque metamorphosis.)

Then I realized what was going on. I was walking in circles. And I was in a very bad mood for no apparent reason. It was all nonsense. Definitely, a drama queen. Resisting my temptation to go out and smoke a cigarette, I grabbed the doorknob, took a deep breath, and muttered “I’m a hysterical drama queen.” and I went in.

Teenage girls

Posted: April 14, 2012 in Questions & answers

Hello gorgeous girl!

Bad news for all the teenage girls out there… sorry but once you are in your twenties it does not get any better… it gets worse because you take things a little bit more seriously than before and it is just one blooming head ache after another… I blame estrogen!!!

Of course you know what I’m talking about… love! An abstract concept that has been inserted into our heads thanks to Disney and romance novels. And I don’t mean to say that love does not exist… of course it does! But it’s not exactly how they pictured it…

Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is if you though your head ache about guys would be over by the time you left your teens behind think again. It gets even harder because before there was a clear difference between guys that wanted a relationship and guys that just wanted to pox around. Now they all get muddled up, switch roles, they can’t decide… and there you are trying to find out what on earth he’s going on about while he’s trying to figure it out himself… and we’re the complicated sex!

And believe me friends do NOT help when this issue arises… in fact they can literally drive you bonkers… if they notice you think he’s just poxing around they try to convince you that he may be serious but he just needs time… and if you are convinced he’s serious but you are not 10000% sure about what you have they will try to brain wash you to dump him because he’s obviously using you and you can do so much better!!!

A word of warning… do not be depressed by these words! au contraire… may it be a comfort to you that there other people out there with the same issue. There are many girls who when faced with this problem become part of the “all men are bastards” club. I honestly believe they’re not… they just have a different way of looking at things which is so darn simple that your hi-tech brain cannot make any sense out of it.

Anyway, thanks for reading! I hope this little post gives you some comfort. And don’t worry… everything sorts itself out in the end ! Even though I must admit that moaning about it doesn’t solve anything,  it does at least let you get it out of your system and allow you to see its such not as a big deal as you thought it was ;-)))

Different

Posted: February 4, 2012 in Questions & answers

Everyone at some point has felt different. It’s only natural, after all.

The media keeps bombarding us half the time with the idea that we have to follow a stereotype, a “role” in the world and the other part of the time that we have to be extraordinary. It gets confusing because, let’s face it, most of us will never be neither president of a country, super models or saints. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Life isn’t about great speeches, impossible love affairs or acts of inhuman heroism. Of course there are many people who   extraordinary things, in fact, most people do or live extraordinary things at some point in their life but usually it isn’t in slow motion and it definitely doesn’t have a soundtrack (though I must admit the idea is quite amusing).

The thing is, contrary to what media tells us, it’s not about winning, it’s about being happy. A lot of people are not happy because they think that their life, their experiences, everything is just not good enough. But life is not a film or a book… it’s so much better.

So, this is a message for anyone out there who feels different to the rest of the world! If you’re happy being an executive, work like mad to become one. If you’re happy being a waitress, what’s the point in insisting upon getting three degrees and two masters if you just like working in a snug cafe?

What’s wrong about being different?

Winning is about getting the result you want, is being how and makes you happy and… you know what ? If you do something that makes you happy you’ll probably turn out to be a lot better at it in the long run than if you were doing something else.

So smile, enjoy the ride and over all don’t worry about being different because that’s what makes you beautifully unique in this mad as a hatter world.

Copyright warning

Posted: September 3, 2011 in Questions & answers

<a href=""Licencia
La profecia de la Shalforen: La niña del plato by Marta A Dunphy-Moriel is licensed under a Creative Commons Reconocimiento-NoComercial-SinObraDerivada 3.0 Unported License“>Copyright

Ok, so I have to admit and I sincerely hope that my parents do not read this, because if not they will say those dreaded words every daughter in the world hates to hear: “I told you so”… I am stressed out.

The other day, as I was walking back home in the drenching rain, muttering about how much I detest coaches (I honestly do, I much prefer trains… and they are better for the environment!!!) and thinking of the mad workload of this week (for one we have to find out how on earth the MOOT team is going to get to Hong Kong and back…among other things accounts of which I will not bore you with) I finally realized, life, is a constant yet in a “sadomasochistic” way very pleasant, battle. It is quite possible that it was stress who was speaking for me, as I cannot see it so terribly dramatic right now, still… it is due to this stress I have finally realized what the ultimate metaphor for life is…Life is like living at the bottom of a cliff.

When you are small, your parents give you as much as they can, the best equipment they can, so you can climb up the cliff side. Some have top gear, some don’t, and those who don’t do their best to improve it or steal it from another person before attempting to climb.

Then you have to through the hook, and it takes several attempts before you actually manage to take a firm grip. Climbing isn’t easy, and you don’t always take the time to look at the landscape while you are at it. You may make some breaks on the way, because you’re tired and you know that if you continue you won’t be able to make it. However, when you take a break there are always 2 risks: the first one is deciding you are comfortable there and you never continue your climb, the second one is you find other people who are also resting and they convince you it is not worth it, there is no need whatsoever to continue climbing.

For those who decide to continue this adventure, threats are far from over. There are some who will try to make you fall, some who will try to climb up quicker by stepping on your head or stealing your rope, some who fall and in a desperate act to hang on take grasp of you and you may both fall, there may be unexpected difficulties or you may not have enough rope.

If you are lucky, you may find another climber with whom to share your adventure. You always have to take into account how far you are prepared to climb and how much you are willing to risk. If you really enjoy your companion’s company you may decide to stop when he can’t climb any further.

But after all this effort, after all the pains and sacrifice you all put into the climb, the truth is still there, there will always be others that will go further up and there will always be a lot left to climb. The circle is never-ending, the climb is hazardous and hard.

So all I can say is… just enjoy the climb.