Flatmates (by Peter & Marta Dunphy)

Posted: March 13, 2013 in Questions & answers

 FLAT RULES

All the following undesirable persons are prohibited from entry to this domicile by order of the flat committee;

Bosses, Free riders, Wingers , Hobgoblins & Huns,Pests,Thieving swine,Trolls, Lying Toads,Tell-tale-tits,Sloths, Mr./Ms.McClean,Peeping Toms, Busy bodies, Hogs, Perves,Egocentrics and Goody-goodies!!!!


ImageConsult list for further information.

1. Bosses, do nout but spout.Always certain they do more than their fair share, always ready with new orders!

2. Free riders, always have millions of excuses for not paying up!

3. Wingers, winging complainers and critics,full of complaints and criticism about their health, doctors, lawyers,parents, spouses, children, clients and other people in general. But don’t you dare criticise them, they are perfect!

4.Hobgoblins, bullies.manipulators and control freaks! Dangerous people, avoid at all cost!.

5.Huns; invaders who leave mayhem and destruction in their wake.

 

6.Pests.time wasters who jangle your nerves!

7. Thieving swine, “borrowers” who use your things and never give them back!

8. Trolls;Grubby, mucky monsters who dump their junk and dirty cups, plates, dog shit and whatever all over the flat and also are disgustingly unkempt inflicting their unsightly, dirty appearance on everyone, generally lowering the tone of the place!

 

9.Lying Toads.  chronic liars and fibbers!

 

10. Tell-tale-tits: run around repeating harmful crap, true or false to all and sundry.

11. Sloths, famous for their miserable, shabby efforts in everything they do!

 

12. Mr./Ms McClean, paranoiacally clean and tidy!

13. Peeping Toms, spies,who walk into your room without knocking, read 
your messages,etc.etc,ie. generally invade your privacy!

14. Busy Bodies;  politically correct do gooders, who organise your life, tell you what you ought to do, think and say and give uninvited opinions on personal matters.

15.Hogs; persons who spend too much time in the bathroom and kitchen, use all the hot water, don’t share the sofa and hog the TV.

16.Perves; people who inflict their sexuality on everyone around them and make loud strange noises in the night.

!7. Egocentrics; look at me, look at me, look at mes. Constantly demanding attention and praise and woe betide you if they aren’t getting it!!!!

18.Goody, Goodies; disgustingly perfect but no fun! Always smiling,(Always, not human), do everything perfect, never winge, criticize, complain or shout. A bomb waiting to explode at any moment…It is not healthy not to react when other people around you are uncouth and, unless they let off some steam, this specimen can explode when you least expect it!

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